My Head Is Spinning

I think I found the problem.  It wasn't the McAfee software.  It was the ancient edition of the AOL software that Dell installed on my computer.  I un installed AOL and downloaded the latest edition and PRESTO it works so much better.  The older edition just could not deal with all the anti-virus, spyware, firewall stuff on this computer.  It only took 3 phone calls, 1 to Dell and 2 to AOL to figure it out.  My patience is trashed.  I have used up every ounce of it.

We are preparing the house to ward off the Trick or Treaters tonight.  We cover the windows, turn off the outside lights, keep the dog inside, and hide in my office until after they all return to their homes with their bounty of cavity producing junk food.  I know, I know... I'm a Halloween Humbug!  I played along with the game for years and enjoyed it.  Now that my kids are grown up and I do not want any junk food to cross the threshold of this house, I have retired.

The new painting for our entry arrived today.  Both Dennis and I really like it.  It's very simple, just 3 trees, but the colors in it brighten up the entry and pick up colors from the dining room, living room and family room.  It ties everything together.  I'll post a picture when we've progressed a bit further in our decorating.

I spent a few hours today photographing a box of Cari's old clothing which she wants to try to sell on EBay.  Of course, I had to iron each peace so it would look nice.  I'm such a fussy wussy.  I have to put together my descriptions of each item and then sit down to open my EBay 'store'.  I am looking forward to trying this.  I hope it goes well.  Believe me, I get a cut of any profits.  I'm not doing all of this work for free.

My son called last night to chat about a few things.  He has been racing his motorcycle dirt bike in the over 30 class for awhile.  I think I've written about this issue before.  It's the only thing that divides us.  I absolutelythink he is NUTS for racing and putting himselfin a situation where he could get seriously hurt when he is the sole support of a wife, 3 kids and one on the way.  He had a very serious accident on a dirt bike when he was in his early 20's and nearly lost his left arm.  He was out of work and in a cast for nearly a year.  He does not have full range of motion in that arm to this day.  I fear that another break would be devastating to his elbow and may prevent him from continuing to work in his business.  Of course, nothing I say will change his mind.  He is going to do what he wants to do.  I have, however, put my foot down and I will not allow him to discuss his riding with me.  I tell him that it just makes me to upset, angry, worried, and several other negative emotions and it's just better if we don't go there.  Anyway, he sheepishly mentioned that he had won his first race over the weekend.  That put me in an awkward spot, didn't it.....  I was polite and said, "That's nice,"  but I didn't follow it up with any other comments or questions.  He then said, "You know, it's just too bad that the only thing I love to do is something I can't share with anyone."

Ohhhhhhh, now hold on.....   that pissed me off (pardon my French).  I did well.  I didn't react and launch into a defensive speach about how crazy he was.  I calmly said, "That's not true.  I'm sure you ride with guys you can share your experiences with."

He started to go on and I stopped him, "Honey, I know you're excited and happy but I really can't go there.  Your dad is in his office, why don't you call him and talk about this."

He was disappointed and hurt.  I could hear it in his voice.  I'm sorry about that but this is one issue that I cannot compromise on.  I will not make it OK for him to be irresponsible and do something that could possibly put his family in serious financial trouble, or worse, injure him to the point where he could not recover the use of his arm again.

It's hard because I have always supported him and been right there to cheer him on.  I know it stings him for me to be like this.  I hope sometime, one of hiskids will do something on the same level as this so he can see that a parent sometimes has to take a step back out of LOVE and not participate in something that can cause harm to their child.  I think then he will forgive me for this.