Saturday

We have a dinner date with our friends M & D tonight.  We've booked an Alaskan Cruise with them for the end of August so tonight I'm sure we will be talking about that.  We have all our excursions picked out, booked and paid for.  That's so great to do that ahead of time.  When planning the excursions, my husband, who is a loner by nature, wanted to do a nature hike that I absolutely would never consider doing.  He and Mickey have planned a deep sea Salmon fishing day in Ketchican so that means 2 out of 3 ports, he and I will not be together.  Now, that brings up ISSUES that irk the shit out of me.  I was going to go back and edit the s...t word but what the hell....  Anyway, he and I have always gone around and around about finding common ground and finding things that interest both of us so we can do things together.  He likes back packing, skiing, hiking, and fishing.  For 13 years in a row, he went to Convict Lake in the Sierra Mountains with his buddies for Trout Fishing Opening Day and I never complained about that.  He goes skiing whenever the mood strikes and do I bitch?  NOOOOOO!  I encourage him because he works damn hard and he deserves the break.  BUT, when we plan a trip away together once a year, I want him to do things with me.  I don't think that's being too demanding or unreasonable.  Well, when I pitched a fit about the hiking thing (I thought the salmon fishing thing was great) he dug in his heels and told me that it was his vacation and he always wanted to do that and it was probably our last trip to Alaska (it will be our 2nd and most likely our last), etc. etc.    I was pissed off for about an hour and until I looked at the excursion list again.  You know what I found????  In Ketchican, while he is out on that boat, throwing his guts up trying to land a few salmon, I'll be flying into Neets, Alaska to watch bears fish salmon out of a river.  From an observation point, I will actually see live, in-the-fur bears as they catch fish and eat them.  It'll be so great!  The best thing is, it costs a fortune!  $335.   I called Dianne and she loved the idea too so we booked it and paid for it.  We're both going!  Awesome.    Now, I'm not pissed off because I am doing something that is on my "I've Always Wanted To Do That" list and I am taking care of myself, my needs, and being responsible for my own fun.  I'm growing!!!  YIPPEEE.............  When I told Dennis, he flinched a bit at the price but he managed to smile, "take the video camera so I can see."  was the only thing he said. 

I'm standing up for myself and making sure my needs are being met, if not by others -- by myself!  I'm becoming my own best friend and care taker.   I like myself so much better and he likes me better, too.