I met my good friend, Sylvia for lunch yesterday.  I hadn't seen her for nearly a month.  We went shopping for an hour after we ate and she talked me into trying on a pair of cropped pants.  Oh, my gosh!   I don't think so!!  I look like a cube.  She thought I was too critical of myself and wanted me to buy them but I put them right back on the rack.  She bought them in five different colors.  She's a very tall 5' 10" and has curves so she looks great in them.  I'm 5' 4" and pretty much straight up and down so I don't.  I had a good laugh anyway.  I enjoy trying on things that I would have never dreamed of wearing when I was heavier.  Somethings, like skirts, do look nice and I've added a few to my wardrobe.  

One of my favorite stores is having a big sale so I'm headed there this morning to buy some sandals.  My sister has a pair of Clark's that I love but they are from last summer.  I want to see if they have something close to them this year.  I'm so picky....too picky sometimes.

I have an issue with someone close to me that is causing some stress and resentment.  I am trying to deal with it in a way that is loving and yet assertive and taking care of myself at the same time.   My cousin, Vicki, Helen's daughter, is calling every day to whine, bitch and complain about her over burdened life.  How hard it is on her to take care of everything having to do with her mom's illness, selling her mom's home, going to see her mom, having to deal with the staff at the nursing home, on and on and on.  Having just gone through a lot of this with Dennis' Dad, I understand the stress involved and I know how hard it is.  I know that Vicki's brother and sister have been very little help to her and I understand her anger about that.  BUT a lot of what is going on with her is her own negative attitude in general.  She sees most of life in a very negative way.  She is a complainer.  If things were perfect she would find something to bitch about so when she is in a bad situation, her outlook on things makes it 50 times worse than it actually is.

I have thanked the good Lord 40 times this past ten days for Caller ID.  Luckily, I can choose when to pick up the phone to talk with her and when to just let the answering machine do the job for me.  I don't feel a bit guilty about it either.  I have grown up emotionally to the point where I can determine, without guilt, when I want to deal with someone and when I don't.  I know that I have to give someone permission to take advantage of me and I don't give anyone that permission anymore.

This morning when the phone rang, I happened to be near the only phone in the house that doesn't have Caller ID.  LOL   I will admit I prayed, "Please, God, don't let it be........."  and it was.    "Good morning!"  I said.  "Is it?"  she replied.  "It is here!"  I beamed back with a happy voice.  "Well, lucky you."  She moaned sarcastically.  And off she went for 20 minutes about how awful her life was and how Helen's transfer to a nursing home was just the worst experience of HER life, and on and on.  And I listened without too much input and very little questions.  "Did you get my Email yesterday?" she demanded to know.  "Yes, late last night."  I replied.  "Well, I only heard back from your sister........."   I explained that since it was late I had planned on answer my Email this morning.  All of which was true.  I don't lie to her about anything.

We had a conversation one afternoon early this week and in order to change the subject from HER I told her about donating one of Dad's wheelchairs to a poor family with an 87 year old grandmother who had to be carried everywhere because they could not afford a chair.  I told her how thrilled we were that we could help and how happy Dad would be if he knew that his chair was given to help someone like that.  Her response, "Well, I guess I better go and start dinner."   LOL   I guess if we're not talking about HER then we aren't going to talk.  Quite telling, don't you think?  Said volumes to me.

Ahhh........I needed to vent.    Now I'm going to go shopping and not give this another thought.

This morning I am thanking God for all the blessings in my life and for filling my heart with positive, happy, loving energy.  Thanking Him that I have a good attitude toward life and the peoplein my life.  Thanking Him that I see the good and awesome things that He has created every day.  I'm also praying that He softens Vicki's heart and gives her some peace.  Amen