And So It Goes

I hesitate writing this entry.  I have wanted to keep my journal upbeat since Dad's death because I want to move forward and get my life back on track.  I am, by nature, a positive thinker and I see the bright side of things most often, but I am also very honest about life's circumstances and know that I must deal with what comes my way. 

We have another family crisis, this time involving my Mom's oldest sister, Helen.  Helen is 82 years old and has had some pretty serious health issues in the past few years.  She was in the hospital with pneumonia less than two weeks ago and at that time, it was decided that she could no longer live at home alone.  Her daughters arranged for her to move into a nice Assisted Living apartment and when she was released from the hospital she moved directly there.  It was traumatic for Helen on many levels.  She has lived in her home for more than 30 years.  She has emotional problems that make her reclusive and sometimes result in panic attacks.  She is extremely private and wants complete control over every aspect of who comes into her life by phone, mail, or in person.  It was easy for us (her family) to understand why moving into Assisted Care was so difficult and we were very proud of her for agreeing and doing her best to accept the situation without much kicking and moaning.

On her 5th or 6th night alone in the apartment, she got up around 5 in the morning to go to the bathroom.  She said she was in a hurry, lost her footing and fell.  In the fall, she broke her hip.  She lay on the floor until nearly 8 in the morning before someone heard her calling out for help.  She was taken to the hospital and evaluated.  Of course, her doctors were very concerned because she has congestive heart disease and kidney problems.  They did tests and determined that she was fit enough for hip replacement surgery.  Last Thursday night (7:00 p.m Denver time) she had the surgery.  Everything seemed to go well.  The operation took an hour.  The surgeon was pleased.  In recovery, though, her breathing became labored.  They increased her oxygen but that did not help.  Finally, when it became critical, she was put on a ventilator and taken to ICU.  Over the past few days, they have tried to wean her off the ventilator but her lungs still will notkick in and take over the job of breathing.  Today, they are letting her rest and in the morning they will try again.  When I spoke with my cousin this morning, she told me that the decision was made that if Helen's lungs do not respond in the morning, they will not re-ventilate her.  My cousins made that decision after talking to the nurse in charge of Helen's care in the ICU this morning.

My mother and  her youngest sister, Ruth both live about 3 hours south of Denver.  They and their husbands are on their way to Denver now.  Both sisters want an opportunity to see Helen and to be there tomorrow for whatever happens.  My Mom is a retired RN and Ruth is a retired hospital pharmacist so both have years of experience in the ICU and hospital setting.  I feel so much better knowing they are going to be there because I know they will know the proper questions to ask and they will make sure that both of my cousins (Helen's daughters) have every piece of information they need to make the right decision about whether or not cease the ventilator.  My Mother also told me this morning that if Helen is conscious and capable, she should have a say in the matter, too and I totally agree with that. 

I'm doing well with all of this.  I'm not upset or overly emotional.  I try to deal with things as they unfold and with what I know for sure.  I am trying not to jump ahead and think the worst.  I'm going on with my day and saying little prayers for my family in Denver.  I thought it would be good to write about it, get it in my journal and out of my head.  It's a healthy way to deal with these things.

Now that I've accomplished this, I'm going to finish folding a load of clothes and get some grocery shopping done.  Peace be with all who read this.  God bless you!