I was going through a box of old cards this morning and I ran across a note that I wrote to my son when he was 16 years old. He was making very poor choices for himself. He was drinking, probably smoking pot, and just not being productive in any way, shape or form. We had a discussion about him going away with friends and his Dad and I told him he couldn't go because he wasn't mature enough to handle the responsibility of being away on his own for the length of time he would have been gone.
He wrote me a nasty note and asked me when would he be mature enough to do those things. I answered as follows:
"You will be mature enough to go away with your friends when you start making choices that move you forward in your life instead of moving you back. When you understand that the rules are made for you, too. When you can accept responsibility for your behavior with no excuses or putting blame anywhere but on yourself. When you can sincerely apologize and admit when you are wrong. Oh, yes, dear, there are times when you ARE wrong." Love, Mom
I found the note in the trash the following day so I pulled it out and saved it. He never said anything about the note but he never mentioned going on the trip again either.
It took another few years for him to get his act together but he has become a very responsible guy. He makes good, healthy choices and he's a good model for his kids to follow.
I'm going to dust this off and put it in his Christmas sock. LOL He may need to use this one day.
6 comments:
Isn't alway wonderful to see how they grow and mature over t he years. My youngest wasn't making the best choices in high school either and caused me so many worries and gray hair. Amazing what a few years can do. I wonder what your sons reaction will be when he sees the old letter?!
Monica
Hey how lovely he took on board what you said and turned into the great man he is today ..love Jan xx
I hope he appreciates the nice reminder! Jae
What a great response.....Hope I remember that when my teen asks such a question! ;)
Janis
Oh, Kathy, that was a perfect answer, and I think it's a great idea to put that into this Christimas Stocking! Amazing how time changes them and us, isn't it?
Hugs
Jackie
You handled the situation so well Kathy. I had a similar situation with my son at the same age, thankfully he`s an upstanding citizen now but at the time I was very worried indeed.
Sandra xxxx
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