I'm joining a 30 day challenge sponsered by "My Life In A "Nut" Shell" journaler, Jae. My 30 day challenge is to go to the gym 3x a week and walk 30 minutes the other days for 30 days in a row. Wish me luck!!!
10:42 a.m.
Went to Curves for my work out. Weighed in and I've lost 8.5 lbs. since my last weigh in which was on March 24th, 5 weeks ago. Thats a bit over a pound a week which is a good loss for this point in my program. My total loss: 66.5 pounds.
The weather man kept his promise! It was in the low 80's today and it felt so good. I have the windows open so I can hear the birds tweeting, the crickets churping, and a lawn mower going a block or so away. Dennis is outside on the patio with a glass of wine and his Walkman listening to music. I have a roast in the oven and the aroma is heavenly. Ahhh, Spring!
We went to see the Angels play the Chicago White Sox today. The Sox swept a three game series against us. Boohoohoo. Den thinks they will go to the World Series again this year. The Angels won't get there if they continue to play the way they have. Come on, guys!!! You can do better!
On the way to the game, we stopped to see Den's dad. Bernice was there which was nice. We always like to see her, too. Dad sleeps most of the time now. When we first got there his nurse came in to give him some medication but she couldn't get him to wake up. Dennis went to that side of the bed and called to him. He woke up and managed a little smile. He took his meds and then Den helped him take some water thru a straw. Dennis is so sweet with him. He talked to him about their old dog, Jake (who died many years ago) and about Dad's brother, Frank (who at the age of 94 is alert and lives in an assisted care facility). Dad seemed to like hearing about Jake and Frank. He can't really talk much anymore. It just takes too much out of him. His dementia makes it difficult for us to know if he understands what is going on around him at any given point. Today, we just choose to think he enjoyed Den's stories and went back to sleep happy.
Den's mom, Carol, married Myrl when Dennis was about 5 years old. He was more a dad to him than his biological father because that dad lived clear across the state and only saw Den and his brother once or twice a year. Myrl was DAD. When Carol died in 1981, Myrl was pretty devastated but he was able to pull things together and he soon met Bernice. They married in 1986. Bernice is just the sweetest person. She truly loves Dad and has taken such good care of him since he has had dementia and has been in failing health. We have the greatest respect for her and we are so grateful that we have always agreed on Dad's care and how things should be handled. There is never any tension in the relationship. Praise, God!
We know time is short and that Dad won't be with us too much longer. We go to see him often and pray for him everyday. It is a difficult experience but it is making us stronger and pulling our family closer together. We are talking more and we're not holding back the emotions. We cry together, laugh about funny things Dad says, talk about how much he and Bernice mean to us. We don't want to leave anything unsaid. No regrets. No should haves, could haves....
Today would have been my brother's 54th birthday. It's so strange to think of him as a middle aged man. He would probably be mostly gray, balding, and stocky built. His gray-blue eyes would still sparkle and I'm sure he would still have the same rowdy laugh.
On May 3 we will mark the 34th anniversary of his death. He was killed by a drunk driver 3 days after his 19th birthday. He and three friends had gone to celebrate another friend's birthday and on the way home a drunk ran a red light, slammed into the car he was in killing the 17 year old boy, Andy, in the front passenger seat and critically injuring my brother who was in the back seat. George died the following day from sever internal injuries. Robert, the driver of the car, was only slightly injured (Thank you, God), but carried a lot of guilt because the boys had argued about which way to go home and they had gone the way he had chosen.
Robert got counseling and support from our family, his family and realized that it was in no way his fault. He has healed, married and is living somewhere in Oregon with his family.
Andy was an only child. His parents were so devastated. His parents went to the hospital that night and left with only his class ring, wallet, and a broken heart. He was to have graduated from high school in 6 weeks but that dream and a life time of others were never to be realized.
George was the third of four children and the first son. A free spirit, surfer, friend to everyone, he was voted Most Popular Boy in his Senior Class. He held a very low draft number and knew that he would most likely be drafted within the year and would probably end up going to Viet Nam. As a peace loving guy, he hated the idea but he was willing to face up to his obligation and serve his country. He had just accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior and was beginning a quest to know Him better.
His death broke our hearts. My dad, mom, sister, brother and I were in such a state of shock for months after. It takes a long time for the realization to settle in when someone is there one minute and gone the next. The first year or so, ANGER was the main emotion. How could someone be so irresponsible as to drive under the influence and to add insult to injury, it was not even a felony at that time to drive drunk.
The drunkard responsible for killing my brother and Andy left the state to avoid prosecution. This made it so hard on us to know that he was probably never going to have to face up to what he had done. I had day dreams about finding him and doing him great bodily harm. I thought about hiring a private investigator to find him but I never did.
Over the next 20 years, all of us healed our broken hearts. We did the work, cried the tears, walked through all of the emotions and healed. It didn't take 20 years to do that but it was quite awhile. The reason I mentioned the 20 years was that 20 years after George's death, the drunkard was arrested in Colorado for drunk driving. Well, well, well. He plead guilty and was headed back to court for sentencing. The Colorado probation department actually did a good job in checking this guy out before recommending a sentence to the trail judge. In the background check, they found an outstanding warrant from Orange County California for the drunkard's arrest for fleeing prosecution on a drunk driving case. The Colorado probation officer called the Orange County D.A. and asked if they still wanted this guy. The D.A. made calls to the police officers who were on the scene and both said they remembered it like it was yesterday. He called a few other witnesses and they all said they were willing to testify. He called Colorado back and told them, "Yes, we want him back here."
So, when the drunkard went to court for sentencing on his drunk driving charge, he was given a year in jail in Colorado and then told, "But, before you do that year, you have to go back to Orange County, California and stand trial for a drunk driving manslaughter charge that there is an outstanding warrant on you for." I guess he just about had a heart attack. LOL He didn't see that coming. He thought he was out of the woods and the statute of limitations had run out. It would have except that he had been to court, charges had been filed, a court date had been set before he fled. Whoops.....
Anyway, to make a long story longer....LOL.......he was brought back to CA where he sat in jail for 10 months before his trial date came up. Because in 1972 it wasn't a felony, the DA had to do some hard work to find a charge that carried a felony conviction to stick him with. He plead guilty and got credit for time served. He was then sent back to Colorado where he had to his year there. The judge told him if he had another drunk driving offense he would do 5 - 10 years. I don't want to see anyone else get hurt but I would love to see him get picked up again and put away for 10 long ones.
I miss my brother. He was a great guy. Funny, smart, athletic, and loving. We talk about him a lot to keep his memory alive within our family. If anyone else is going through this, please know that there is hope for healing. There will always be a hole in your heart and your family that nothing will fill up but you will find joy, laughter, and hope again.
I've been getting organized this week. Well, to be honest, I've been attempting to get organized. It's an ongoing battle for me. I do well for a few weeks and then the clutter piles start forming and I am back where I started. I have three clutter zones: 1) My desk 2) The kitchen counter by the telephone 3) My Sewing Room. The rest of the house is kept up and tidy but these three zones are disaster prone. It drives my poor husband crazy because he is so neat and orderly. He asks "When?" and I promise "Soon!" I know I have to keep my word because he has a 'cut off' for patience and when he gets to that point he becomes 'The Toss King' and things I value are thrown away. Tuesday was the 'cut off' so Wednesday and Thursday I picked up the piles, sorted out the junk and tossed it and then put everything else away. Now zones 1 and 2 are spotless and zone 3, well........ zone 3 has the door closed for now. LOL
I wish:
You know that Mood: box that has a list of moods to choose from when you sit down to journal? Well, I wish you could type in your mood instead of having to pick one of the generic moods on the list. I'm rarely feeling one of those moods and it just bugs me that I have to compromise to choose one. I'm not really feeling Silly but I'm not Loopy either, my mood doesn't match any of those on that list. It would be liberating to be able to type: Carefree or Bitchy when it fits. I bet they are afraid that someone will type in Horney or Suicidal or in a Murderous Rage. Censorship!!! LOL
