My Dr. Visit and Trip to Cambria

I had a very nice time with my sister.  I left last Thursday afternoon and got back Tuesday afternoon.  It was beautiful on the Central California Coast in Cambria.  On Sunday, we went to San Simeon State Park for lunch and a hike.  It was in the high 80's which is very unusual for the central coast.  We did a lot of walking, shopping, talking, cooking together, and having quiet time.  It was something we both needed.

My Dr.'s appointment on Friday morning went very well.  He increased my thyroid medication because I have symptoms that tell him my thyroid is sluggish again.  I'm cold, have a mild depression, and just don't feel all that well.  If I'm not feeling much better by next Monday, I'll call him and he will order some blood work to check things out further.  My weight loss since my last visit was good which made me happy especially since I just came home from vacation.  After setting up my next visit, my sister and I left to run errands.  In the car, I put my paperwork in my purse and then did a mental tally to figure out what my total weight loss was.  I've lost 80 pounds since Nov. 1, 2005.  I actually started crying when I told Carol the total.  She started crying, too.  I thanked her for her support and being a part of this amazing journey.  She's gone to every one of my appointments with me and she's been on the program herself which has been an inspiration and help to me, too.

When I first went to see Dr. N I didn't hold out much hope that I would be successful.  He told me that if I did what he said, he could pretty much guarantee that I would succeed.  I wanted to believe him and I think a part of me did.  There was, however, that other part of me that had failed at every program I had ever tried and all of those failures had programed me to doubt my ability to ever succeed at beating the monster that had controlled my life since I was around 8 years old. 

So, on November 1, 2005, I decided to do exactly what the doctor told me to do and to be totally honest with myself and the process that was going to take place.  I was never going to make an excuse to go off the program.  I was never going to say it was too hard or that I couldn't do it.  I was not going to let anyone derail my progress with negativity or their 'stuff' about dieting or succeeding.  I promised myself to exercise and to do it right for the first time.  It was important to have a well rounded program that addressed the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of my life so as I lost the weight I could deal with the new person that was emerging.  I wanted to also be able to deal with the changes in how others were relating to me. 

It has been an amazing 10 months.  There have been a lot of highs and some lows.  Some unexpected benefits and some surprising disappointments.  Things I thought would get better when I lost weight have stayed the same - relationships mostly.  I'll write more about those issues later.  Overall, it's been the best thing I've ever done for myself and I am a new person inside and out.  I'm happier, friendlier, healthier, have more energy, enjoy life much more and I don't feel self-conscious anymore.  It's wonderful to walk through the mall and know that no one is looking at me.  I just fit in with all the other average people walking around.  I don't stand out anymore.  It's so cool.  I don't feel embarrassed when a waiter seats us in a booth because I might not fit.  I know I can sit in that small space.  I can fly on an airplane without feeling like I'm squeezing into the person next to me.  And the best of all, I can wear a pair of size 10 jeans if there is a bit of elastic in the waist band.  Now, how awesome is that when I used to struggle into a size 22?  It's the most awesome thing EVER.

Carol and I left the doctor's office and went directly to Gottschalk's where I bought my first ever pair of size 10 jeans.  My treat to myself for a job well done.

God has blessed me richly.  Thank you, Lord.  I give the glory to You.

 

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