I'm spending the weekend at home. I got back around 5:00 last night. I didn't even say hello to my family. I just took the dog and went up to bed for an hour or so before talking to anyone. I was physically tired but emotionally, I was on empty. Yesterday was the hardest day so far in the grieving process for my dad. His burial was yesterday afternoon so I thought about my Mom and sister most of the day and wished I could be with them and the other family members who were there. I just needed to know my Mom and sister were OK and I wasn't able to reach either of them until about 7:30 last night.
My sister said the grave side service was very short and simple. Only family, my dad's best friend and his wife, and another couple who lived next door to my parents for nearly 20 years were invited. My sister said it was very nice but really hard on my mother. She told Carol, "I'm just not ready for this." My mom hasn't really started dealing with her loss. There is so much to do before the funeral that she hasn't had time to just stop and let it sink in. Carol is staying until the end of next week to help with her adjustment and some of the business things that need to be worked out. I am going to need to go back to help finalize some business things. I'm hoping to have a week at home between leaving Bryan's and going to Mom's but if she needs me right away, I will go on April 2nd.
Today is going to be rough, too. Today is the memorial service at 11:00 with a luncheon/reception following. My son, daughter, brother and I all wrote messages that will be read and there will be time for people to get up and talk about my Dad. Luckily, the person who does all the audio recording at the church will be there to record the service so my brother and I will get copies. When I get my copy, my immediate family (husband, kids, grandkids, and Sam) are having a little Memorial for him here. We will listen to the service and then have time to talk and share our thoughts and memories.
Below, is a copy of what I wrote:
I wish I could be there today to share in the celebration of my Dad's life. It would be so nice to greet each of you, to thank you for being here and for bringing so much joy to my Dad's life and so much support to our family today.
Most of you know that I am home in California in my role as Gramma Kathy. Bryan and his wife Shannon welcomed their 4th child into the world on Monday and I am at their house helping to care for Megan, Nathan and Andrew while Shannon recooperates and tends to little Matthew. I know my Dad would tell me that this is exactly where I should be right now. He loved my grandchildren so much and would want me to be the one who takes care of them while their mom gets back on her feet.
I am so fortunate that I was able to spend two weeks in Laramie with my Dad before he died. I got to Laramie on March 3rd. Dad was very alert and able to have a fairly good conversation at that time. We knew right away that his illness was very serious and could take his life so we didn't waste anytime talking about the weather. We talked about our love for each other and how grateful we are that we will see each other again.
I want to thank my Dad for my blue eyes, my whacked out sense of humor and my over zealous need to do the right thing. I also want to thank him and my mom for raising all of us kids to be independent, responsible and accountable. We're all hard workers, loyal to our family and friends, kind hearted, and each of us has a lot of integrity. All of these qualities are our Dad's legacy to us.
I'm going to miss his phone calls. I don't know if Mom knows but many times when she went to Bible study or Quilting, Dad would call to chat. He said he just wanted to hear my voice but I know he was probably missing her and our talk was a way to make the time go faster until she got home again. I don't know how many times in the last few years my Dad would say, "I just don't know what I'd do without your mother. She's so good to me." During the last days of his life, the one thing that would make him feel better was seeing her walk through the door. There were things that he just wanted her to do for him, things he only trusted her to handle. Their love for each other would fill the room and Dad would be more relaxed. Mom, thank you so much for all you did to care for Dad. Not just during this last illness but since October when he broke his ankle and then as he got over his back injury, too. You sacrificed a lot and did it with so much love. I love and respect you so much for that. You and Dad were a good team. You were there for each other and that showed until the end.
I could tell stories for hours about my Dad and funny things he did and said but everyone in this room knew him and knows what a character he was. So I will end with one of my favorite Bible promises.........
2Timothy 4:7-8 King James Version
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteouness which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give to me on that day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved his appearing."
May God bless and keep each of you in his care.
Kathy
There are so many things I could have written but I don't think the congregation wants to sit through hours of memories. My memories will be shared over my life time with my children and grandchildren to keep my Dad alive in our hearts.
